I think those of us who are goal oriented and driven are often very competitive even if it's only with ourselves. Depending on the scenario, we want to be the best. What does that truly mean and how is it measured? If we are talking about some type of competition, then maybe it's measured by the score and rewarded with a trophy or a medal and the title of "champion' or "1st place". What about reserve champion or second place? Is that a lesser achievement? If it's a judged sport or event, on any given day, the competitors in those roles are most likely interchangeable. So do we consider ourselves less successful winning silver instead of gold? I think for many the answer is "yes". But the real question is SHOULD we consider ourselves less successful if the ribbon is red and not blue? The answer to that question should be an emphatic "no". I will admit I am one who at times has put a lot of emphasis on "winning", but I have learned to look at it much differently now.
Through high school and college, I played lacrosse and during high school I also had a horse and competed in shows. I remember thinking I should do one or the other so I could devote myself to that particular sport more completely. However at the time, I loved them both and did not want to give up either one. I was a good rider and a good lacrosse player but not "the best". I worked hard at both and had fun. I look back now, and I'm very glad I didn't give up one for the other, at least not until college. At that time I gave up riding and focused on lacrosse. I became a better player and was a valued member of my team, but once again not "the best". When you play a team sport, the most important thing should be your contribution to the team, but there are certainly still ways of singling out the best players and giving them special recognition. I was never an all-American or MVP of a tournament, but I was an elected team captain for 2 years which I felt in many ways, meant even more, especially since I missed a whole season due to a knee injury requiring surgery.
Being "the best" or striving to be can be applied to many areas of our lives. We can relate it to academic achievements, career goals, and other roles we play such as parent or even friend. We are constantly evolving, and if we have goals in mind, we are working toward them. At times, it can be difficult to feel motivated especially if you feel what you are working toward is a far reach. I think no matter how lofty the goal, with discipline, anything is possible. But does that mean you have to be the best? It doesn't. You have to be one step closer to achieving what you want. If you want to win the race, the game, the job promotion or 'the "mom of the year award", you may not be satisfied until you have that title. What about completing the race, playing your best, receiving praise from your boss, or getting the biggest hug from your child when you come home from work? These can all be amazing, feel good moments even if you don't feel like you are "the best". If you have given all the effort you can, then you are the best you can be at that time.
Stepping out of your comfort zone with hopes of achieving something you never thought possible can be scary but also very rewarding. If becoming the best at something is what you hope to achieve, it can be a driving force. I think the journey toward that goal is just as, if not more important than the end result. Again, how do we define "the best"? I think the most important part of the definition should be commitment and discipline. If you wake up every day and take one step closer to living your best life, whatever that means for you, then you are succeeding. The work and time spent will pay off in some way. Taking action and actually doing instead of wishing for things to happen is the key. Most achievements are years in the making, but many of us are often looking for more instant gratification. The work can be hard and take time, but the potential result is well worth it. Not giving up can be the hardest part of becoming "the best", so focus and perseverance are critical.
I learned this firsthand when I started taking ballroom dance lessons. This was something brand new I decided to learn at age 47. The challenge was far greater than I expected, but the journey toward success in the pro-am dance world became an incredible part of my life. Competitions come with medals, trophies and titles, so I could look at my first place medals as validation of my efforts, but as my teacher often reminded me, it was more important to look at my improvement. We worked very hard and spent countless hours in the studio to achieve what we did. I freely admit that the gold medals are nice, but when the placement was not as good yet my teacher was happy with how I danced, that was the most important thing. The improvement in this sport is definitely measured in months and years. The day to day practice can bring ups and downs, but the big picture progress that comes from this day to day discipline is what matters. I may never be "the best" student dancer, but working toward that type of goal makes all the hours so worthwhile.
So what is the take home message here? The definition of "the best" is not clear. It is so different depending on the scenario. It can be that gold medal or title of "champion", but it can also be the accomplishment of completing all the tasks you had planned for a day. It can be doing a workout or helping your child with a school project. It can be reaching out to a friend who needs you or figuring out how to update the website for your business. It can be not falling off the wagon with the healthy eating plan you are trying to follow. It can be many things. I think my take home point is stay disciplined and consistent about the things that are important to you and anything is possible. Believing in yourself is the best!🥰
