The Ultimate Working Mom...Nana!

My mom Rita has devoted her life to raising kids...first hers and then mine. It was the greatest gift I was ever given to be able to have my mom's help with my girls from the moment my oldest daughter was born 20 years ago. 

Rita's working mom journey began when she was in her twenties. Sadly, she lost her mom at the age of 17 and quickly transitioned into adulthood at that time. She then married my dad at age 22 and became a mom for the first time at 23 (that would be me!).  Two years later my brother was born. She and my dad moved from New York where they both grew up to New Jersey once they got married. They didn't have any family close by to help so my mom would go to work at night once my dad got home when they needed extra income. There were periods of time while we were young when my mom did not work outside the home, but once my brother and I were older (teenagers), she went back to work on a regular basis and continued that job into our college years and beyond. As a result of that, she was able to pay off all the college loans for both myself and my brother which was a huge personal victory for her and so nice for us as well. My parents gave my brother and I a wonderful childhood and provided us with excellent educations and many amazing vacations and experiences. They both worked hard but always made time for us and our sports and other activities. Our little family of four spent lots of quality time together.

Who knew she (and my dad) would do it all again with my kids?! Getting divorced while I was an orthopedic surgery resident with a 2 year old and a 2 month old was not in my master plan, but it happened. My mother had already offered to quit her job and be there to take care of my daughter once I became pregnant the first time. That is exactly what happened and my mom took on the role (and in a sense the job) as Nana in September of 2000. I went back to work 6 weeks after my daughter was born. We could never have predicted that a mere 2 years later my marriage would end and her job description would change to full time primary caregiver for both of her granddaughters... a toddler and a new baby. 

When my  younger daughter was born, I had to go back to work 4 weeks later. My mom selflessly took on the responsibility of both kids in a big way since their father did not stay very involved. I will never be able to truly express my gratitude. At the time we lived 20 minutes away from each other. I was in my 5th and final year of residency and had to leave for work at 4:30am. My mom would show up to my house by 4am with coffee for me and a smile on her face, ready to spend the entire day often into the evening taking care of the girls...and then be ready to do it all over again the next day.  This went on for about 7 months until I finished residency. I am so fortunate, and so are my girls. I was able to work very long hours with no fears or concerns about my kids' well being. They were with Nana who loved them just as much as I did. It was an amazing feeling for me. My mother devoted the last 18 years to being mom to my kids when I couldn't be, and 17 years ago we all moved in together. We have lived in our three generation household ever since, and I don't know how I could have managed any other way. I will be forever humbled by the way my mom came to my rescue and did such an amazing job helping me raise our girls. My dad provided the father figure for them which is a topic for another day, but I am very grateful to him as well. 

So the working mom role can vary and take on different descriptions. No matter what, it often involves some degree of sacrifice and putting the well being of your children ahead of your own. It is a role we value and cherish even though it brings many challenges along the way. Without a doubt the rewards are more abundant and well worth the struggles. My daughters thrived in our 3 generation household and they are now amazing young adults who learned the value of family. They saw firsthand how strong women manage to overcome adversity and take care of what matters most. "Here's to strong women...may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them"