Where's the balance between family, work, and me?
That is a difficult question to answer. Last week, Lisa wrote about the guilt we as moms often feel when our work makes us miss time with our kids, We do our best to choreograph our schedules so that we can be available for all the important moments and feel present for our kids and for our work responsibilities. The problem becomes when we have to make a choice. We will without fail prioritize our children and family, although we also need to make a living and provide for said family.
So what happens when we then plan time away from work for family and miss out on the big presentation or don't meet an important deadline? Do the feelings of guilt then shift? Now do we feel bad for potentially letting down our boss or coworkers? Do we feel like we perform less well at work because we are pre-occupied thinking about when we have to walk out the door to beat the traffic and arrive at the soccer field on time? We plan a long weekend at the beach and decide not to take the laptop, but we fear we are disconnected and worry that our absence will be the reason something did not go well at the office. There is no right answer, but we must strike a balance.
Finding the balance is not easy, but we need to do what feels right on any given day. What happens when we decide to take an afternoon off and catch up with our best girlfriend for a late lunch and manicure? We second guess ourselves the whole time thinking we should instead be helping our kids with homework or checking emails...or both. Can we make time for ourselves and not feel guilty about it? Perhaps this is the million dollar question.
I think the answer is a resounding yes, however, I also think it is very difficult for most working moms to allow themselves to answer in this way. Again, strike the balance. This is so difficult, but it will keep you sane. A little time for you goes a long way, and it can help you be the best mom as well as the best version of yourself at work. Even if it's just 10 minutes a day, take some "me" time without guilt. It will pay off in the long run for you and all who rely on you.