It's OK to not be OK.
I had recently reached out to a bestie from high school and she is really struggling. After watching her struggle with infertility for so many years, followed by the joy of having not one, but two beautiful babies on the same day, we all knew as the years flew by, how hard it would be to have to let go of both at the same time. Her words hit my heart in a way only a mother can understand: "My soul just hurts. I've never felt this way before. I'm so happy for them, but I already feel the loneliness. How am I going to drop my baby boy off with complete strangers 11 hours away and just walk away, and then have to do it all again next weekend with my baby girl?" I had a big cry, because I could feel her pain. I only have one, and in two short years, I will be an empty nester all at once too. After seeing all the posts of everyone sending their kiddoes off to college, I wanted to just write a letter to all of my friends that are going through this right now. It just can't be easy. I'm dreading it, but I know deep down it's a reflection of how much I love her and it will be a celebration of all the milestones she and I have achieved together over the years. And so.....
To my dear friends,
As you prepare or have already sent your child off to college, I wanted to take a moment to reach out and share in this significant milestone with you. I can only imagine the mix of emotions you’re experiencing right now—pride, excitement, sadness, and perhaps a bit of anxiety. It’s a big step, not just for your child, but for you as well.
I'm here! Whether you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or just a friend to share a cup of coffee with, I’m just a call away. This journey is filled with so many new experiences and opportunities, and it’s okay to feel a bit overwhelmed. Remember, each of the mixed emotions are a reflection of the deep love you have for your child.
In two short years, I’ll be in your shoes, sending my own daughter off to college. I know I’ll be looking to you for support and guidance, just as you might need mine now. Let’s lean on each other and navigate this new chapter together.
Remember, this is also a time to celebrate all the hard work and love you’ve poured into raising such an incredible young adult. Your child is embarking on an exciting adventure, and they carry with them all the values and lessons you’ve instilled.
Let’s share our experiences and support each other through the highs and lows. We’re in this together, and I believe that with each other’s support, we’ll find joy and strength in this new phase of life.
Here are some tips that my seasoned "college parent friends" have offered so far:
- Explain that Ramen noodles are both a meal and an investment strategy. They’ll appreciate the ROI when their student loans kick in... and add some veggies or an egg to give it more protein and fiber.
- Suggest they resolve conflicts with their roommate using rock-paper-scissors. Winner gets the last slice of pizza, loser gets the trash duty.
- Assure them that you’ll be available 24/7 for life’s important questions, like “How do I adult?” and “Is it normal to miss my pet goldfish?”
- Teach them the ancient art of separating whites from colors. Bonus points if they can decipher the cryptic hieroglyphs on clothing labels.
- Encourage strategic napping. The library? Perfect for a quick snooze between chapters. The lecture hall? Not so much.
- Advise them to keep a secret stash of snacks for late-night study sessions. Nothing says “I’m acing this exam” like a bag of gummy bears. Popcorn, chocolate, and coffee are also your new best friends.
- Teach them to nod sagely during lectures, even if they have no idea what’s going on. Bonus points for scribbling cryptic notes.
- When you hit a mental roadblock, step outside. Fresh air and a change of scenery can work wonders for your brain cells.
- Group projects are a rite of passage. Embrace the chaos, and remember, there’s always that one person who does all the work (try not to be that person).
Sending you all my love and hugs,
Xoxo, Lisa
I'm also sending my love to Alexis, Joe, Jocelyn, and Connor Knorr.... I know their parents dropped them off with heavy hearts, and they are already enjoying their new campus lives at Clemson (Connor) and NYU (Jocelyn). Thanksgiving break is right around the corner. I know this because pumpkin spice is EVERYWHERE right now and football has started. haha. "Aunt" Lisa will just have to plan some trips with "Mom" to visit NYC for brunch and theater and Clemson SC to re-live our college tail-gating days. And we promise NOT to embarrass you (we will at least give it our best efforts ;)
